The Spiritual Gym:
In recovery, we talk a lot about keeping a positive mindset. But let’s be honest: a positive mindset is a lot more than just "thinking happy thoughts." It’s an active, daily discipline. For me, it starts first thing in the morning with a choice. And that choice is what helps me regulate my thinking process throughout the entire day.
To keep that mindset, I have to understand a major distinction: Which thoughts are my ego, and which ones are coming from pure awareness?
The Ego is a Fast, Cheap Hit
Let’s face it—the ego is easy to engage because it feels good in the moment.
Judging other people, fantasizing about revenge, or feeling like it’s my personal responsibility to "teach them a lesson"... those thoughts are very familiar to me. They give you a quick spike of self-righteous power. But when the dust settles, they don't add a single ounce of true value or growth to my life.
The hard part of this work is humbling myself and simply allowing others to be exactly as they are.
Some days, that is easier than others. What I’ve found is that when I get in touch with myself in the morning and find that connection to spirit, I am much more likely to recognize the spirit in others. There’s a famous saying: "If you spot it, you got it." If I am operating from my ego, all I’m going to recognize in others is their ego. But if I am in spirit, I spot the spirit in them.
Putting in the Gym Time
When I am anchored in that spiritual space, the daily triggers don't happen nearly as often. And if they do pop up, they don't last. Getting back in touch with my breath and becoming the observer of my mind is what brings me right back to a space of acceptance.
But this mindset takes time.
Often, we don't see the benefits of mindfulness practices for quite a while. Think of it like going to the gym. If you go lift weights for one day, look in the mirror, and expect a transformed physique, you’re going to walk away saying, "This doesn't work for me."
Yet, if you go consistently, your muscles get bigger, you get in shape, and you start seeing the results.
The exact same thing goes for mindfulness. The more consistently you practice it, the more it becomes a natural part of your life. You get stronger. You become more confident and able to regulate your emotions and your thinking. Your outlooks change, your attitudes change, and your mindset shifts.
Suddenly, you start making better choices, and you start getting better outcomes.
The Ultimate Gift: Freedom
Without a doubt, the greatest outcome this consistency has brought into my life is acceptance and clarity.
Being able to be authentic—and not really caring what other people think—is a kind of freedom that you just can't buy.
Today, my relationships are stronger. My boundaries are clearer. People know exactly where they stand with me. Because I’m willing to be myself, I naturally attract the kind of people who fit into my life, and I don't really worry about the others. It’s not that I don't care about them; it’s just that I accept they don't need to be a part of my journey.
There’s a great quote often attributed to Dr. Seuss that sums it up perfectly:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
If you’re struggling with a noisy ego today, don't beat yourself up. Just get on the spiritual treadmill. Do the daily work, take a breath, step back into the observer role, and let the consistency do the rest. The freedom on the other side is worth every single rep.
